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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29215641">Let the Clock Reverse</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalvessel/pseuds/immortalvessel'>immortalvessel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempted Suicide, Character Development, Dad cloud, Emotional Turmoil, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Fix-it arc, Grief/Mourning, Interrogation, Love/hate relationships, M/M, Mental Instability, Norse Mythology - Freeform, Pain, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Powerplay, Sexual Tension, The suicide attempt is in chapter 3, They save the world with communication basically, Time Travel, and sex, bamf cloud, dark themes, mental manipulation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:55:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,407</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29215641</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalvessel/pseuds/immortalvessel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sephiroth quirked a brow. “I don’t recognize you, SOLDIER. What class are you?” And he felt strange asking because as the General of SOLDIER, he knew the height requirement, and this man didn’t cut it even for third class.</p><p>And yet here he was, eyes glowing with more mako than even Sephiroth himself. </p><p>The man’s face twisted in disgust. “Fuck you.” </p><p>And Sephiroth thought he couldn’t be any more shocked than he already was, but that was before the man angled his sword and in one quick motion, tossed Sephiroth -- the 1st Class SOLDIER, The Silver General, The Demon of Wutai -- to the floor like it was nothing. </p><p>Or: Cloud is sent back to a time when Sephiroth isn’t insane. He has to choose between killing a sane man to save the world, or spare him and risk the demise from his timeline.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sephiroth/Cloud Strife, past Zack Fair/Cloud Strife - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>315</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Last Dance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cloud was dying. </p><p> </p><p>He could feel the stuttered beat of his heart as the muscle strained to fuel his body with far too little blood. His eyesight, which could rival a hawk on a typical day, began to waver. It was like looking through frosted glass: everything was blurrier and shinier than it should have been. Cloud was reminded of Nibelheim on a sunny day. It didn’t happen often, but on the rare occasion the thick, grey clouds slit apart, the light would shine through and reflect off the snow in iridescent rays. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud shook his head, jolting out of his daze. Damn blood loss. </p><p> </p><p>The distraction was just the opening his opponent needed. Cloud saw the sword glint as it descended towards his shoulder. It was a strike he usually could have dodged, but the blood loss was making his muscles slow and sluggish.</p><p> </p><p>The sharp metal pierced his body like butter. Cloud cried out, his body stiffening as the eight foot sword sank to the hilt. </p><p> </p><p>A familiar ache erupted in his shoulder, joining the ones in his hip and thigh. Then he was being lifted up until only the tips of toes were still touching the ground. He flailed, panting heavily as every tiny motion sent pulses of pain shooting through his shoulder. Desperate, Cloud latched onto the nearest solid thing -- which happened to be leather adorned shoulders. </p><p> </p><p>“Rather presumptuous of you, wouldn’t you say, <em> Cloud</em>?” Sephiroth's lips curled around his name, eyes flashing gleefully as he took in Cloud’s twitching form hanging off his sword like a speared insect. </p><p> </p><p>Before he could voice his disgust, he felt Sephiroth shift. It was the only warning he got before the sword was unceremoniously ripped from his shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud screamed. </p><p> </p><p>He vaguely felt a hand at the small of his back, pulling him flush against a solid body. When he came to, he was gasping for air, hands scrabbling at Sephiroth’s back as he tried to -- get away? Hold on? He couldn’t tell anymore, <em> couldn’t think </em>, through the pain.</p><p> </p><p>“I love it when you scream for me.” Icy lips brushed his ear. “Won’t you do it again, <em> Cloud? </em>” Then there was a hand at his hip -- his injured hip. Cloud bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, but when a thumb dug into the wound, he couldn’t help it.</p><p> </p><p>Cloud screamed again. </p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t realized he had fallen down until he opened his eyes (when had he closed them?) and saw Sephiroth’s boot inches away from his face. Cloud wanted to recoil, but he couldn’t move. It felt like there was a boulder on top of him -- a boulder that weighed at least a million pounds. He tried to lift his head, but his cheek was glued to the ground. Even his eyelids felt heavy, and they kept getting heavier and heavier and--</p><p> </p><p>Cold steel pressed against his neck and Cloud’s eyes flew open (had he closed them again?).</p><p> </p><p><em> Get up, Cloud. </em> </p><p> </p><p>The silky voice made Cloud’s head buzz. Suddenly, he wanted nothing more than to stand up. Everything would be ok if he just listened to that voice. He was so confused before. So hurt. So frustrated so helpless so <em> broken </em> but now everything made sense. Cloud was always meant to obey orders. He was always meant to be used. He would give anything -- <em> everything </em> -- to please the voice. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Don’t make me tell you again, Cloud. Get up and fight -- Our dance isn’t over yet. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Cloud whimpered. He had upset the voice. He didn’t mean to. He tried so hard, god he <em> never stopped </em> trying, but he was weak and he couldn’t do anything right no matter what he did no matter where he went, destruction followed in his wake because he was a failure he would always be a failure he didn’t deserve the voice he didn’t deserve to <em> live </em> he --</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Get UP! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Cloud sailed through the air and crashed into something hard; it punched the air from his lungs and set off an explosion in his head. He started to gag, but before he could throw up he started coughing up what felt like a gallon of blood. </p><p> </p><p> A hand fisted in his shirt, lifting him up and pressing him against the wall.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Need a moment to catch your breath, Cloud? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Something snapped in his head and the buzzing suddenly stopped. </p><p> </p><p>“Stay<em> the fuck </em>out of my head, asshole,” Cloud rasped, clawing furiously at the hand at his shirt to no avail. </p><p> </p><p><em> You’re the one that let me in, </em> the voice sang and Cloud couldn’t remember why he was angry anymore. <em> Poor thing, your mind is so tortured. There’s so much pain; You’re practically begging for someone to come in and take that pain away.  </em></p><p> </p><p>He sighed, the fight melting from his body as he sank into a gentle embrace. Why had he wanted to fight again? Why should he keep fighting when fighting hurt so much? Why hold on to the pain when he could just let it slip away? He could finally be at peace, this bliss could be his if he just let go, <em> just give in - </em>-</p><p> </p><p><em> CLOUD! </em> A voice shouted. It wasn’t the silky voice this time. This voice was feminine, and she sounded very upset. </p><p> </p><p><em> Don’t listen to her. </em> The other voice cooed. <em> She wants you to be in pain. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Please, Cloud, wake up! You’re dying! He’s going to kill you.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>What? No, that can’t be right. Where was he? What was happening?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Don’t worry, Cloud. Everything will be alright. Let me take care of you.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Shut up, you! Don't listen to him Cloud! </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> “ </em>I--” Cloud choked out. “Aeri--” </p><p> </p><p>He was silenced by a hand pressing down lightly on his throat, just hard enough that could feel his pulse beating wildly against the other person’s skin. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Cloud, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Oh, I could just tear that man to pieces! A hundred million tiny little pieces!  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Do your worst, Cetra. </em>The silky voice hissed. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Shhh, I’m not talking to you! Cloud, listen to me. Sephiroth stabbed you. You’re bleeding out, and now he’s toying with you. He wants to make you suffer before you die.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Suffer? But he wasn’t in pain...Anymore. But he had been in pain. A lot of pain. Why?</p><p> </p><p>Cloud grunted as the hand around his throat tightened.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Don’t forget, Cloud. You belong to me.    </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I--” He wheezed, barely able to breath past the pressure. “I--don’t know.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Insolent puppet. Do you remember what you were before I saved you? Weak. Pathetic. Alone. My cells gave you power. My cells gave you purpose. Together, you and I could conquer the entire universe. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Join us, Cloud. Join Mother and I.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The buzzing wailed in his head, and his pulse hammered at his throat. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “No Cloud! Don’t listen to him!”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Aerith? But you’re--” </p><p> </p><p><em> Cloud. </em>the voice warned. Tears of shame welled in his eyes. He had disobeyed the voice. He had disappointed him once again. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud lifted a shaking hand, trying to keep the person from leaving.</p><p> </p><p> He would do better, he would try harder, just please--</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t...Go.”</p><p> </p><p>The hands released his throat, only to shoot out and snatch his wrist. The grip was bruising, and Cloud’s teeth clenched as harsh fingers dug into the softest part of the joint.  </p><p> </p><p>“I had hoped you’d listen to reason, Cloud, but I suppose I should have known better. There’s only one way to break a stubborn horse after all.”</p><p> </p><p>Cloud heard his wrist snap before the pain registered. When it did, it was like he had been electrocuted. His spine arched at the same time he heard a bloodcurdling scream fill his eardrums.  </p><p> </p><p>“I want you to beg, Cloud. <em> Beg for forgiveness </em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“I--I’m… sorry.” He panted, scrabbling at the iron hold around his wrist. “I’m-- sorry... please.” </p><p> </p><p>As soon as Cloud had spoken, his hand was released and a hand carded gently through his hair. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Good puppet.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> No, Cloud! You’re not Sephiroth’s puppet. You’re Cloud Strife. You’re my best friend and you’re the kindest, most selfless person I’ve ever met.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth Sephiroth <em> Sephiroth </em> . Cloud <em> knew </em> that name. He saw a man walking through a village on fire. He saw himself speared on a sword in a room lit mako green. He saw a cruel smile that curled around Cloud’s name, mocking him, <em> tasting him </em>. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> That’s right, Cloud. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You’re mine, puppet. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Come to me.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Come to Mother.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Join us.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Or DIE! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The buzzing crescendoed, piercing through him just as easily as Masamune had split his flesh. Cloud could only clutch his head as the agony ripped through him. He might have screamed. He wasn’t sure. He didn’t know anything besides the feeling that the innerworkings of his mind were being shredded. </p><p> </p><p>Just as quickly as it had come, the buzzing vanished. Instead, a different presence took residence in his mind. This presence was as soft and subtle as ocean waves on a summer day, gently lapping at the borders of his mind.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Oh, my dear Cloud. I wish your mind could be at peace. I wish this task hadn’t been placed on you. If I could carry this burden for you, I would. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I may not be able to fight this battle for you, but I can still help. You’re not alone, Cloud. You’re never alone.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The next breath he took smelled of sunlight and yellow lilies. He closed his eyes, breathing in deeply.</p><p> </p><p>When he opened them, he was at Seventh Heaven. The jukebox was playing some stupid song but Cloud didn’t care. He was too busy trying not to laugh. Jessie had made the mistake of mentioning the one time she saw an apple tree when she was little. That, of course, had set Barret off because his baby girl may <em> never </em> see an apple tree because of those damn Shinra egotists -- who do they think they are draining the planet of every last drop of life energy and brainwashing people into thinking they’re the good guys? Well, as far as Barret was concerned, Shinra can shove their bullshit propaganda where it belongs. <em> Up their </em>--</p><p> </p><p>As it were, Cloud was not laughing at that. No, Cloud was laughing because a drunk Wedge had decided to interrupt right at that moment--</p><p> </p><p>“Hey guys, look! I’m a beer tree!” And proceeded to grab Barret’s half-drunk beer <em> from his hand </em> and held it up in what Cloud could only assume was a tree impression. </p><p> </p><p>“Oi, merc! Are you laughing at me?” A few months earlier, Cloud would have been terrified of that tone. </p><p> </p><p>But now, it was all he could do not to laugh. </p><p> </p><p>“Not at all. My face always looks like this,” he told Barret. </p><p> </p><p>“He’s right, Cloud!” Jessie said in a sing-song voice. “You look distinctly less broody than normal. I must say it’s a <em> very </em>good look on you.”</p><p> </p><p>Cloud made a scandalized sound. “I do not <em> brood </em>.”</p><p> </p><p>He immediately regretted saying anything when he was answered with a chorus of, “Yup, you totally do.” “You’re a brooder, bro.” “The broodiest.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah what happened, Cloud?” Tifa laughed. “You were the sweetest kid when we were little.” </p><p> </p><p>Something slammed into his side and Cloud flailed, having to catch himself on the bar to keep himself from falling. “What do you mean, Tifa?” Aerith giggled, a little too innocently for someone who was<em> latched </em> onto his side.  “Cloud’s a big, ol’ softie!”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh yeah, Tifa, I forgot you and Cloud grew up together!” Jessie said. “I bet you have a <em> ton </em>of embarrassing stories about him.” </p><p> </p><p>Cloud sighed, loudly, but it was drowned out by the sound of Aerith’s manic squealing. “Oh, oh, oh! Tell us Tifa! Tell us baby Cloud stories!!!”</p><p> </p><p>“Well too bad,” Cloud told her. “Tifa would never sell me out like that. Right, Teef?” </p><p> </p><p>The look that crossed Tifa’s face was one that Cloud immediately recognized. It was the look that meant she was seconds away from embarrassing someone.</p><p> </p><p>And that someone was him.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, Tifa--” </p><p> </p><p>“As a matter of fact, I do.” She shot him a shit-eating grin. “When we were kids, he promised he would always come to my rescue after he became a big, strong SOLDIER.”</p><p> </p><p>A chorus of AWWWs filled the bar. “I told you he was a softie!” “Cloud has a cruuuuuuuush.” “You can rescue me any day, tough guy.”</p><p> </p><p>Barret was the only one who didn’t laugh. He just looked at Cloud, his expression more solemn than it had been when he was cursing out Shinra.</p><p> </p><p>He did a double take when he saw an actual<em> tear </em> escape from behind Barret’s sunglasses. </p><p> </p><p>Barret sniffed, and then in just three strides, he was across the room. Cloud jumped up on instinct, but a surprisingly gentle arm wrapped around his torso and then he was being <em> pulled into a hug </em>. </p><p> </p><p>“I said the same thing to my Marlene on her first day of kindergarten.” He sobbed into Cloud’s hair. “It was hard, letting her go off on her own like that. Ya just want to protect them forever, ya know?”</p><p> </p><p>“So in this analogy, that would make Tifa... Cloud’s daughter?” Aerith asked, entirely serious. </p><p> </p><p>“You must have been young when you had her, ey Cloud?” Jessie winked. </p><p> </p><p>“No no no -- <em> he </em> was the one leaving in this case. That would make SOLDIER the metaphorical kindergarten and Tifa, Cloud’s metaphorical mom,” Biggs concluded sagely.</p><p> </p><p>“Cloud has a crush on his mom!” Wedge yelled.</p><p> </p><p>Cloud facepalmed.</p><p> </p><p>The scene vanished, as did the scent of lilies. </p><p> </p><p>The buzzing returned.  </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Oh, Cloud. But you are alone.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>A different scene appeared. </p><p> </p><p>It was a church. Aerith was laying in the flowers she loved so much. Cloud couldn’t remember when she planted red lilies. Yellow. They had always been yellow. That’s when he looked down and saw Masamune sticking out of her chest like some kind of morbid weed, feeding on her, draining her life away.   </p><p> </p><p>Cloud shut down after Aerith died. </p><p> </p><p>The others knew he wasn’t coping well, but they also knew better than to ask him about it. Whenever they tried to bring her up, he would stalk out of the room without another word.</p><p> </p><p>At first, Tifa had thought that he was going to her church. Maybe visiting with Elymra and tending to Aerith’s lilies. </p><p> </p><p>That is until she heard the locals talking one day:</p><p> </p><p>“Have you seen the merc out in the junkyard? He’s killing monsters like his life depends on it! Honestly, if I wasn’t so glad to have a guy like him around, I’d say he’s got a death wish.”</p><p> </p><p>When Cloud walked into the bar looking like death, Tifa didn’t say a word. She just handed him a drink and sat next to him at the bar. They drank in silence. </p><p> </p><p>Jessie was next. Cloud remembered it vividly, the way she lay on the ground in a crumpled heap. It reminded Cloud of all the times she had played dead before. She did it whenever someone in the group refused to go with her to one of her weird Back Alley Theater performances --  so every single day. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud knew he was in for it when Jessie started pouting and clutching her chest, and it gave him just enough time to get the hell out of the way before she launched into a series of dramatic twirls. An excessive number of dying sounds later, she would finally flop to the ground, but now without dragging someone down with her (and by someone, he means <em> Cloud </em> because Jessie had an uncanny ability to manhandle him at every opportunity, superhuman reflexes <em> be damned </em>). But she always got back up with a little hop and a wink, dragging them all to her sketchy theater performance anyway. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud waited, but she never got back up. </p><p> </p><p>Biggs was never the same after that. He often visited the Back Alley Theater -- alone. He would be gone for hours, and wouldn’t come home until long after the play ended. One day he came home with red rimmed eyes, so Cloud started going with him. When the play ended, he and Cloud walked to the junkyard. Together, they started building a real stage out of the wood and metal scraps they were able to salvage. When they finished, they sent an anonymous tip to the Back Alley Theater that someone had built a stage and it was free for public use. </p><p> </p><p>Apparently, they hadn’t been as discreet as Cloud thought. When Biggs stopped coming to performances, they set up twin memorials in front of the stage: a simple J and B carved into two wooden pedestals. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud didn’t think it was possible for Barret to be taken down -- the man had always seemed so invincible. Even in death, he still had that steadfast expression on his face. If it weren’t for the three foot long piece of shrapnel embedded in his chest, he almost looked like he could be resting -- propped up against the wall with his gun hand limp at one side and his human hand clutching a glittery pink ribbon. </p><p> </p><p>It was Marlene’s ribbon. She had made it at school one day for an assignment. After school, all the kids were supposed to go home and give their ribbon to a special person. Barret cried when she gave it to him, immediately scooping her up in his arms and twirling her around while she giggled manically. </p><p> </p><p>Barret didn’t come home that day, but the ribbon did. When Marlene ran up to Cloud and asked “Where’s daddy?” Cloud wanted to vomit. Instead, he sank to his knees and tied the dirty ribbon around her wrist with shaking hands. </p><p> </p><p>The next time her school had the ribbon project, Marlene came home with a plain blue ribbon. Cloud helped her tie it in a bow around some of Aerith’s flowers and walked her to the cemetery.</p><p> </p><p>Cloud never even saw Wedge’s body. The last he saw of the man was his red bandana disappearing over the edge of a skyscraper. </p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t had a parachute that time. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud walked to Wedge’s house every day after that with a bag of cat food. If anyone asked, Cloud would claim that he only stayed long enough to refill the food and water bowls. Tifa knew better. She knew the ten minute walk there and back shouldn’t take an hour. She decided to follow him one day, and was surprised to find her childhood friend sitting on the ground with a mound of cats piled on top of him. It was <em> adorable </em>. She almost laughed at the sight until she saw the glitter of tears on his face. </p><p> </p><p>Tifa quickly turned around to give him some privacy, but she didn’t quite miss the faint murmuring as she walked away. “Hey there, Biggums, Reggie -- oi Smalls! Stop licking my face! I know, I know -- you miss your dad... He doesn’t have nine lives like you guys.”</p><p> </p><p>Cloud’s relationship with Tifa changed after that. They had always been close. Tifa understood him in a way no one else did but after they lost the rest of AVALANCHE… They bonded in their grief. They depended on each other more than they ever had before -- which also meant they fought far more frequently. </p><p> </p><p>On bad days, Tifa would scream at him, slamming cabinets and throwing wine glasses until she fell to the ground sobbing. Cloud would hold her until she stopped crying, and then he would take off by himself on Fenrir. Sometimes he didn’t return until the next day, eyes puffy and red. Never later than that though: he had to help take care of the kids. </p><p> </p><p>They didn’t always have time to grieve. Usually, they were too busy trying to keep the world from and ending, and raising Denzel and Marlene -- two equally important tasks. They got really good at pushing their sorrow to the back of their mind: at least until the mission was over, dinner was made, and the kids were in bed. </p><p> </p><p>If they didn’t pass out directly after that, Cloud would raise a brow at Tifa and she would laugh and grab his hand, pulling him out back to spar. Fighting was a good way to vent. Sometimes their spars would get heated -- ending with charged looks, wandering hands, and shared breaths -- and they learned there were other ways to vent too.  </p><p> </p><p>Their intimacy didn’t stray beyond the physical though. Tifa knew Cloud couldn’t do romance. He didn’t talk about it, and Tifa never pushed him, but she knew he had some kind of trauma in that regard. He said things in his sleep sometimes -- called out someone’s name.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Zack.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Cloud came back to reality gasping, feeling like a knife had just pierced his chest.</p><p> </p><p>Zack. Zack. <em> Zack. </em> That <em> name. </em>That name was important, Cloud knew that name, he knew him, he--</p><p> </p><p><em> Stop it </em> . <em> You don’t want to remember </em>. This voice was different than the other ones. It didn’t sound foreign. It sounded like--</p><p> </p><p>His own. </p><p> </p><p><em> Remember what? </em>He asked himself. </p><p> </p><p>No sooner had thought the question than he heard something unlock in his mind. </p><p> </p><p>A door. </p><p> </p><p><em> Stop it, </em>he heard his own voice say. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud reached for the handle. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Don’t do it, Cloud.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He tried to open it, but the latch was stuck. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Don’t.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He pulled.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I said don’t.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He tried again. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He tugged on the doorknob and this time it creaked. He tugged again. Then again. Just one more--</p><p> </p><p>DON’T DON’T DON’T DON’T DON’T DON’T.</p><p> </p><p>The door flew open.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Don’t go inside.</em>
</p><p><br/><em><br/></em> <em>SOLDIER is a den of monsters, Cloud.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Don’t go inside. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He heard a voice deep like gravel. He saw a man with eyes like the sea and a soul like the sun. How could Cloud have forgotten? How could he have forgotten that he--</p><p> </p><p>He had loved him. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud screamed as memory after memory flooded from the door. He curled in on himself, clutching his head with shaking hands.</p><p> </p><p>“Zack,” He sobbed. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hey, Spike.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> We’re friends... right? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Zack.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> My honor, my dreams…. They’re yours now. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> “ </em> No! No, no, <em> no </em> gods no Zack <em> please.” </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> For the both of us... you're gonna... live.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “ZACK!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You'll be... my living legacy. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The memories settled into the hollow of Cloud’s mind like they had never left. Zack’s arm slung over his shoulders. A warm body pressed to his side. A hand ruffling his hair. A bright, easy grin on a face that was made to smile. The dumbest jokes Cloud had ever heard. Yet, he couldn't help but laugh because Zack's whole face would light up and that smile would widen to something beyond dazzling. It was the times Zack wasn't smiling that he had to watch for -  that heated gaze that made Cloud's heart stutter in his chest and his breath catch in his throat.</p><p> </p><p>His mother had warned him about romance before he left Nibelheim. She explained that the right woman would make it hard to breathe. A crush is a warm feeling in your gut, a buzzing in your brain. </p><p> </p><p>But love: love is standing on the edge of a cliff and feeling your heart seize as you stare at the abyss below.</p><p> </p><p>She had warned him, and Cloud had been ready. He’d seen plenty of beautiful women in Midgar: not that they paid any attention to a short, scrawny kid like him. Cloud hadn’t cared anyway. He didn’t want romance. He wanted to prove his worth in SOLDIER. </p><p> </p><p>And then he met Zack, and for the first time in his life, Cloud <em> almost </em>cursed out his mother. </p><p> </p><p>Because she hadn’t warned him about beautiful <em> men </em> . She hadn’t warned him about men with deep blue eyes and husky laughs and strong arms and kind smiles. She hadn’t told him that men could fight with both devastating strength and lithe grace. She hadn’t mentioned that calloused hands could set your skin on fire. Powerful hands that could crush an enemy soldier one second and cup your jaw with the utmost care the next. She didn’t tell him that men could tug you in, kiss you breathless, and smile against your lips afterwards. She hadn’t warned him, <em> Cloud hadn’t been prepared </em>for a man to look at him like he was the only one in the room. Like he was the only person worth looking at. And how it made him feel absolutely helpless but utterly invincible at the same time. </p><p> </p><p>If love was like his mother said, then Cloud would have done it; he would have looked into that abyss and he would have stepped off without hesitation. For Zack. Anything for Zack. Cloud would do <em> anything </em>if it meant that Zack would still be--</p><p> </p><p><em> Cloud </em> should have been the one on that cliff. <em> He </em> was the weak one. <em> He </em> was the helpless one. Zack was always the strong one. Zack was the hero and heroes didn’t-- <em> fuck </em> Cloud never thought anything short of an apocalypse could dim Zack’s smile, but he was wrong, he was <em> wrong, </em> because bullets can. Dozens and dozens of bullets and <em> christ </em> , he can still feel it: the slick blood on his skin, and the weight of the buster sword -- <em> Zack’s </em> legacy -- in his hands, and the gaping hole in his heart, and why <em> gods why </em>was Cloud alive when Zack was… Zack was...</p><p> </p><p>Zack was the most beautiful person Cloud had ever known, and Cloud <em> had killed him. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He was weak, Cloud. The weak deserve to die. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Those words filled Cloud with a rage that turned the whole room blood red. </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Shut the fuck up</em>!” Cloud rotated his upper body and sent his fist crashing into the weight on top of him. The hit landed on Sephiroth's throat, causing him to grunt and loosen his grip. It was just enough of an opening for Cloud to throw himself from the man's grip, landing on his hands and knees. </p><p> </p><p>He tried to stand, but immediately fell back down. His legs were wobbly and the ground was slick with blood. </p><p> </p><p>A dark chuckle made him freeze. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, isn’t this a pleasant surprise? I do so love it when you fight me, Cloud but I must say, I didn’t think you had it in you.” </p><p> </p><p>“Well think again, jackass.” </p><p> </p><p>He choked on a scream as Sephiroth snatched his broken wrist. </p><p> </p><p>Those cruel, green eyes were inches away -- close, <em> too close </em> . So close that even in his struggling, Cloud didn’t miss the way they danced in triumph. Mako glow brighter than ever, they <em> feasted </em>on every agonized wince as Cloud desperately tried to twist away.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Tell me what you cherish most, Cloud. Give me the pleasure of taking it away. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Cloud’s vision swam and he swayed on his feet.</p><p> </p><p>“I--I--” He groaned, falling forward into something hard. Someone embraced him, and he sighed, leaning into the touch.</p><p> </p><p>He felt so much better now. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud steadied himself, and tilted his head up so he could look into those beautiful green eyes again.</p><p> </p><p>“I cherish you, master. Only you.”</p><p> </p><p>A possessive hand in his hair. A victorious smile. “Good, puppet.”</p><p> </p><p>Cloud smiled too -- dazed and adoring and--</p><p> </p><p>The mask slipped off his face. With a smirk, Cloud reared back and punched Sephiroth right in the face.</p><p> </p><p>It was like punching a brick wall, and probably hurt Cloud more than it hurt the 1st Class SOLDIER but it was enough -- it was just enough to shock the man into loosening his wrist. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud staggered backwards and laughed, spitting blood in the process.  “You thought you could control me, you <em> motherfucker</em>.” </p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth’s face twisted with rage. “It’s not over yet, Cloud. This dance between us will never be over. No matter how far you run. No matter how long you hide in that little bar of yours. You will <em> never </em> be safe. I will <em> always </em>find you.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You’re mine.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Cloud threw up as many mental blocks as he could. When he felt the pull on his mind returned, it was just a fraction of the strength from before. </p><p> </p><p>He limped over to where First Tsurugi had been discarded. It took all his strength to heave it off the ground. </p><p> </p><p>His arm shook as he raised the weapon into the air. “Can’t chase me if you’re a corpse. I’ve already killed you twice. Like they say -- third time’s the charm.”</p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth snarled, and Cloud tensed, bracing for the impact, and then--</p><p> </p><p>Then he was falling. </p><p> </p><p>~ ~ ~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Dark Shores of Náströnd</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Cloud woke up, he immediately wished he hadn’t.</p><p> </p><p><em> Everything </em> hurt. </p><p> </p><p>He blinked his eyes open, and was very promptly blinded by an artificial yellow light. His nerves pricked at the wrongness of the sight. His instincts told him that it should have been dark. </p><p> </p><p>“What the -- <em> fuck</em> is that dude bleeding?!”</p><p> </p><p>Cloud flew to his feet at the sound of an unfamiliar voice only to stumble and fall a moment later because <em> three stab wounds</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Dude, look at <em> that sword.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>“I know,<em> fuck,</em> it’s bigger than Angeal’s.”</p><p> </p><p>He blinked rapidly, trying to focus on the two blurry figures approaching him. He couldn’t see, but that didn’t stop him from pushing off the ground long enough to throw one punch. It would have been a good shot if his opponent had been thin air. </p><p> </p><p>He fell again and landed on his knees, hard.</p><p> </p><p>“Woah, woah easy there! You alright, man?” </p><p> </p><p>Cloud barely heard him as he panted on the ground. The edges of his vision started to blur with darkness. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Shit. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Cloud squinted up at the figures just long enough to determine that neither one of them had silver hair or an eight foot blade.</p><p> </p><p>Good enough. </p><p> </p><p>“E-ether,” Cloud croaked.</p><p> </p><p>“Nah man, you’re delirious. You shouldn’t be casting like that. Here drink this -- it’s a cure.”</p><p> </p><p>Cloud shook his head. “No. No that...won’t work.” A normal cure barely did anything for him anymore. He hadn’t used one of those in years. </p><p> </p><p>“Need to use…healing materia... A mastered one,” he gasped, desperately trying to keep his consciousness from slipping away entirely. </p><p> </p><p>“Wait you have a mastered materia?! Holy fuck, where did you get that?! I mean, shit sorry okay um... I don’t have any ethers. Just this cure.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good enough.” As soon as Cloud felt a cool vial in his hand, he tossed his head back, downing the contents in one go. He immediately felt a warm tingling take residence under his skin. </p><p> </p><p>He sighed as the intense pain dulled down to something more bearable. His wounds still throbbed persistently, but the urge to pass out had mostly faded. </p><p> </p><p>He rose to his feet, pleased that he was capable of standing, and nodded to his rescuers. Now that he could see clearly, he saw that the two men seemed very young. In fact Cloud was more inclined to call them boys. They couldn’t be any older than eighteen. One had long shaggy blonde hair that he wore down. The other had short brown hair that was spiked up. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you--” Cloud started to say, before he cut himself off with a sharp inhale. </p><p> </p><p>The boys were wearing <em> Shinra uniforms </em> . Not just any uniform either. <em> SOLDIER </em>uniforms. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud stared at them, eyes wide, as he took in the deep blue fabric of the 2nd class SOLDIER uniform. </p><p> </p><p>His eyes narrowed. “Where did you get those?”</p><p> </p><p>The boy who had given him the cure, the blonde one, audibly gulped. “Um-- get-- get what?” </p><p> </p><p>Cloud raised one hand behind his head, resting it on the hilt of his sword. The boy followed the movement with wide eyes. “You <em> really </em> don’t want to test me right now."  </p><p> </p><p>He held up his hands and stumbled backwards. “Woah woah, hey uh -- just calm down there buddy! I seriously don’t know what you’re talking about! You mean the-- the cure? Because that’s just standard issue!” </p><p> </p><p>Cloud quirked a brow. “You’re joking right?” </p><p> </p><p>He just shook his head, throwing his buddy a bewildered look.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok.” Cloud said. “Let me spell it out for you then.” In one quick motion, Cloud had unsheathed First Tsurugi from his back and swung it around to point at them. They immediately brandished their own weapons, but Cloud could see their hands were shaking. Not to mention their form was <em> all wrong. </em></p><p> </p><p>The teacher in Cloud resisted the urge to kick their feet farther apart and have them lower their center of mass.<em> Even Denzel and Marlene could take these guys</em>, Cloud thought, with a flash of pride.</p><p> </p><p>Their obvious ineptitude had Cloud lowering his weapon. These guys weren't a threat to him.</p><p> </p><p>He studied them again, brow furrowing. They <em> had </em> helped him, and they didn’t seem like bad guys, even though they were wearing Shinra uniforms<em>. </em> They probably stole those uniforms from an abandoned supply warehouse, thinking they looked cool, and didn’t even realize what they were wearing. They were lucky they ran into Cloud and not someone more trigger happy.</p><p> </p><p>“Look, I don’t want to fight you,” Cloud told them, his expression softening. “I just -- You can’t go around wearing SOLDIER uniforms like that. This isn’t some kind of a game. If people see you wearing that… They’re not gonna stop and ask questions first.”</p><p> </p><p>He thought he was being inordinately patient, but the shaggy blonde one had the gall to start laughing. “Is this a prank? Oh my god this is totally a prank. Holy -- you scared the shit out of me, man! You must be the new recruit on Hilt’s squad, huh?<em> That’s</em> why I’ve never seen you around here before. Gaia, I’m gonna kill him! Is that even real blood?”</p><p> </p><p>The guy laughed again, elbowing his friend to join in, but the other’s face remained grim. His eyes never left Cloud’s. “I don’t think this is a prank, dude.”</p><p> </p><p>Cloud resisted the urge to roll his eyes. If he didn’t <em> quite </em> manage it -- well, he never claimed to be a saint. </p><p> </p><p>“Like I said, I'm really not in the mood for this right now. Now tell me, <em>where</em> <em>did you get those--</em>”</p><p> </p><p>Cloud stopped himself short as he saw the light catch on their eyes in a very familiar way. It was a sight he saw often -- every time looked in the mirror. He hadn’t seen that glow on someone else (Besides Sephiroth) in a very long time. </p><p> </p><p>The two boys had <em> mako glow </em> in their eyes. It was very faint -- not nearly as pronounced as Cloud’s -- but then again, they probably didn’t spend five years in a mako tank <em> .  </em></p><p> </p><p>Cloud groaned loudly, smacking his palm against his forehead. Somehow, he had managed to escape imminent death only to walk in on some weird <em>Shinra</em> <em>role-playing drug addicts</em>. Because <em>of course he did. </em></p><p> </p><p>“I <em> seriously </em> do not have time for this right now. Please tell me you two are at least 18?” </p><p> </p><p>“Uh--”</p><p> </p><p>“OH MY GOD.” They <em> were </em> kids. It just <em> had </em> to be drug addict kids. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud scoffed at the empty air next to him. If this was Gaia’s idea of a joke, Cloud was <em> not </em> laughing. </p><p> </p><p>“Okay look,” Cloud said.”You two clearly need help -- professional help -- and believe me, I’m not the right person for that.”</p><p> </p><p>They just blinked at him. </p><p> </p><p> “So uh…” Cloud wracked his mind. “Don’t do drugs?”</p><p> </p><p>Never let it be said that Cloud didn’t try.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh-- I <em> don’t </em> do drugs, but alright I guess.”<br/><br/></p><p>“You can’t fool me, kid,” Cloud said. “I can see the mako in your eyes.”</p><p> </p><p>The guy had the nerve to <em> roll his eyes at Cloud </em>. “Well, duh! I’m a second class SOLDIER. I’ve already had my mako injections.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok could we drop the roleplay thing? I know you’re young, but this is getting ridiculous.”<br/><br/></p><p>“Dude!” The brunette boy spoke up. “You say we need help but <em> you’re </em> the only crazy person here! All SOLDIERS get mako injections. Everyone knows that! As soon as you get inducted into SOLDIER, Hojo gives you your first--"</p><p> </p><p>Cloud looked up sharply, breath catching in his throat like someone had just punched him in the gut. </p><p> </p><p>“How do you know that name?” And Gaia Cloud <em> hated </em>how breathless he sounded. He hated how the mere mention of that name made his heart stutter in his chest. </p><p> </p><p>It was a simple question, but the boys looked confused. “Every SOLDIER knows who Hojo is,” the blonde one finally said. </p><p> </p><p>“Hojo’s dead,” Cloud said, voice flat. </p><p> </p><p>“He wasn’t a couple hours ago?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>What?!  </em>Where--” Cloud finally took a moment to glance at his surroundings and then he was stumbling backwards, his hands fluttering over his chest as he felt his heart <em> skyrocket.</em></p><p> </p><p>He was in a SOLDIER training room. He was at <em> Shinra </em> in a S<em>OLDIER training room.</em></p><p> </p><p>“No. No no no <em> no no </em> .” Cloud felt all the blood drain from his face as he spun in a slow circle. It was like something out of his nightmares. Except it <em> wasn’t </em> because even his nightmares had never conjured up Shinra with such perfect detail before. The familiar slate walls. The matching, bloodstained flooring. The overwhelming, suffocating sense of <em> lifelessness </em> that was the signature of all Shinra facilities. </p><p> </p><p>“This is-- It <em> can’t </em> be. Shinra- Shinra doesn’t even <em> exist </em>anymore, so how--” </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Of course. How else?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Sephiroth,” Cloud hissed.  </p><p> </p><p>Really, he should have expected something like this. If experience taught him anything, it was this:</p><p> </p><p>His reality was worse than any nightmare. </p><p> </p><p>The grey walls swirled around him, turning into smoke. Cloud gagged as the air turned bitter, and the sound of shrill screams filled his head. He snapped his eyes shut, trying to block out the sight but the smoke was smarter, effortlessly slipping under his eyelids. </p><p> </p><p>Now the smoke was green, and the screams were his own. It <em> burned </em>, it sank into his skin, melting his flesh worse than any fire ever could. Fire was meant to burn, but rain -- rain was a bitter traitor. Cloud didn’t know rain could burn until he’d felt the torch of loss on a lonely cliffside, kneeling in rivulets of red. </p><p> </p><p>The smoke transformed into black feathers, but they didn’t flutter gently to the ground. No, they whipped through the air, violently twitching and seizing like they were caught in a hurricane, until they condensed into a hunched winged figure. </p><p> </p><p>The fallen angel spasmed to life, and in the blink of an eye, a dark, feathered sword materialized in his hand. A sword that was sinking deep into Cloud’s chest and lighting his entire being on <em> fire </em> . Searing fire that scorched him -- body, mind and soul -- burning him, <em> consuming him </em> , until his nerves were just frayed wires. Until even pleasure <em> burned. </em> </p><p> </p><p>“Sephiroth?! Do- do you know him?”<br/><br/></p><p>Cloud blinked, and the smoke disappeared, revealing the outline of two figures. </p><p> </p><p><em> Of course </em> . They were <em> Clones </em>. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Where. Is. He.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Well, he’s kinda busy right now-- Alright, alright, Jesus! He’s in the main auditorium! Inducting some thirds into second class, but you can’t just--”</p><p> </p><p>Cloud shoved the clone out of the way, and stumbled out into the hall. There were more clones out there. Clones in suits holding clipboards. Clones in infantry uniforms. SOLDIER clones. </p><p> </p><p>A clone in a doctor’s coat gave Cloud double vision. </p><p> </p><p>They shot him weird looks as he passed, but otherwise didn’t stop him. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud moved on autopilot, sprinting through the achingly familiar hallways, not daring to linger too long in any one spot.  </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t stop running until he arrived at a set of heavy metal doors. With a swift kick, he sent them crashing into the wall with a bang that echoed in his ears. </p><p> </p><p>He entered the room like he was in a dream. He felt like he was floating, looking back at a distant memory. Only it couldn’t have been a memory. Cloud had never made it into SOLDIER. There was no way his mind would know to conjure up this sight: an auditorium full of SOLDIERS, all looking at a stage. At least, they probably had been, until Cloud had stormed in. Now they were all staring at him, expressions startled. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud noticed one person who still hadn’t turned to look at him. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Sephiroth. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Cloud stiffened, but the attack he was expecting never came. </p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth remained standing at the center of the stage. He had his hands clasped behind his back and his head tilted away from Cloud. It was difficult to tell from this angle, but he seemed more... polished than Cloud remembered. During their last fight, his hair had been blown into a disarray, stray strands framing feral eyes. But now the silver hair was swept away from his face, tucked neatly behind one ear. </p><p> </p><p>Even in silence, Sephiroth commanded a room. Cloud knew he should attack while he still had a chance, but he found himself waiting. Waiting for Sephiroth to speak. To act. To make his intentions known. In the past, Sephiroth had always been the one to strike first. Now that Cloud was handed the opening move, he didn’t quite know what to do with it. </p><p> </p><p>In fact, this subdued version of Sephiroth was so antithetical to the unhinged monster Cloud was used to, he was struck with a sense of whiplash. It reminded him of his first impression of the man, so many years ago. A younger Cloud would been overjoyed to be here, half a room away from his idol. He wouldn’t have been able to move, too starstruck. Too awed by Sephiroth’s heroism. His innate authority. His ability to captivate an entire room by merely existing. </p><p> </p><p>The memory of adoration was so deeply ingrained, Cloud could recall it easily. Viscerally. Even after years upon years of being tortured by the man, he still remembered what it was like to love him. It was unlike anything Cloud had ever known. In Nibelheim, his mother had made him go to church and learn about the Nibel gods. But the heroes on those dusty pages never resonated with him. Nothing did. Not until Sephiroth singlehandedly conquered Wutai. To a small town like Nibelheim, he might as well have conquered the world. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud had just turned 14 at the time. He was young by most standards, but it was the age of a man in Nibelheim. The age of independence. Cloud had the freedom to choose his path so he chose to leave. He left his mother. He left everything he had ever known to go to Midgar. To join Sephiroth’s army. </p><p> </p><p>To see his God. </p><p> </p><p>And he did. Meeting Sephiroth in person for the first time was like looking into the sun, even on that dark winter night. Cloud’s hands had been shaking when it happened and continued to tremble as he performed the standard military salute. Even as he saluted, he wanted nothing more than to drop to his knees and bow. </p><p> </p><p>Had he been 14 again, Sephiroth could have asked anything of him, and he would have done it. Happily. Without question. </p><p> </p><p>He would have gladly given his life to the most beloved man on Gaia.</p><p> </p><p>A decade later, and Cloud knew now. He knew what a thin line separated savior and demon. Servant and slave. </p><p> </p><p>He could never forget what it felt like to devote himself to the man standing before him. He would never forget how that same man ripped the floor out from under him, shattered his entire universe, and used the shards to whittle away the little joy he had left. </p><p> </p><p>It was funny though. He’d fought his fallen angel so many times now that all Cloud could feel as he reached behind his head, grasping the worn hilt of his sword, was emptiness. </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth was going to kill someone. </p><p> </p><p>A very specific someone. The same someone who swept into his office yesterday and <em> somehow </em> roped him into inducting the incoming 2nd classes, which Sephiroth cannot <em> for the life of him </em> remember why he agreed to it.</p><p> </p><p>All he remembers is being incredibly sleep-deprived. Sephiroth could go without sleep much longer than the average person, but even a 1st class SOLDIER starts to feel the effects after a week of no sleep. </p><p> </p><p>That may have been why he wasn’t entirely coherent when Genesis stormed into his office yesterday (a<em>fter midnight</em>), flopped on his coach, and wailed.</p><p> </p><p> “Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul. Pride is lost. Wings stripped away,<em> the end is nigh.” </em></p><p> </p><p>“What do you want, Genesis?” Sephiroth muttered into his coffee. </p><p> </p><p>“Seph, are you free tomorrow--”</p><p> </p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p>“Please, Seph! It’s an emergency! If I don’t--”</p><p> </p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p>The rest is a blur. There was an endless whining in his ears, and he vaguely remembered saying “Fine” if only to get the sound to stop.</p><p> </p><p><em> Apparently, </em> he had agreed to spend the day initiating new 2nd class recruits so that Genesis could go see Loveless. Honestly, it’s not like he’s already <em> seen </em> it a million times, but Genesis didn’t seem to understand that logic.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, yes I know I’ve seen it already but this is the last time I can see<em> this </em> rendition, Sephiroth! Well, of course I’ve complained about it! They never get the ending right, but at least the ending is actually <em> bearable </em> this time and the acting is only <em> slightly </em> subpar. Don’t even get me started on that <em> fraud </em>they hired last time--”</p><p> </p><p>That is how Sephiroth found himself standing on a stage, giving a presentation for the SOLDIER orientation. He resisted the urge to rub his temple as he glanced at the clock. He had only been at this orientation for three hours and he still had another six to go. Then after that he had a mountain of evaluations to fill out, mission briefings to prepare, and he was pretty sure there were at least three meetings he was supposed to present at tomorrow. <em> At least.  </em></p><p> </p><p>Another all-nighter then. </p><p> </p><p>So one could imagine that Sephiroth wasn’t <em> exactly </em> in the most forgiving kind of mood. And that was before some <em> heathen </em> decided to kick the doors open and interrupt his presentation when he was already behind schedule. </p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth waited for the person to start explaining the <em> very good reason </em> they had for interrupting. </p><p> </p><p>They didn’t. </p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth’s eye twitched. Without even bothering to turn his head, he addressed the newcomer. “If you value your life--” He saw the SOLDIERS in the room flinch. “I suggest you turn around and walk out the way you came.”  </p><p> </p><p>Instead of the stuttered apology he was expecting, there was a soft snort</p><p> </p><p>“You already know that isn’t going to happen.” </p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth didn't recognize the voice -- and wasn't <em> that </em>interesting. There were only two people Sephiroth knew who were daring enough to refuse a direct order, and that was Angeal and Genesis. Everyone else was completely terrified of him. </p><p> </p><p>Everyone except this man apparently. </p><p> </p><p>It was clearly a man’s voice, but his voice wasn’t very deep. While there was the hard edge of challenge in his tone, it was undercut by a strange softness, unforced, like the man was just naturally soft-spoken. It gave him the impression of a scholar, not a warrior, but Sephiroth had definitely heard him draw a weapon. And there should have been fear in his voice -- people were <em> always </em> afraid when Sephiroth leveled a threat -- but there was none. Just weariness. And resignation. </p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth was almost intrigued. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Almost. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> “ </em> Get out, <em> ” </em>Sephiroth ordered, still not deigning to look at him. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s a strange request seeing as you were the one that brought me here.” It was surprising how little emotion the man conveyed. Not even an ounce of the fear, stress, or awe that Sephiroth  encountered whenever he had a conversation. (“S-Sephiroth, Sir! C-can I get you anything, do you want my coffee, my desk, my first born child?” “Oh my GOD, it’s Sephiroth! Can you sign my boobs?” “I’m so sorry, S-Sephiroth, I didn’t see you there! I’ll be more careful, I promise, I wasn’t looking and I didn’t realize you were standing there and... Are you going to kill me?”)</p><p> </p><p>(Etcetera).</p><p> </p><p>This man just sounded... empty. It was like he was speaking on autopilot, participating in a conversation he had already had a million times before. </p><p> </p><p>Which was strange because Sephiroth may have been sleep deprived, but he <em> very </em> rarely forgot a voice: especially one that seemed to have no problem defying him. He was confident that he had never spoken with this man before. </p><p> </p><p>And okay Sephiroth may have been a <em> little </em> interested now. “Bring you here? I did no such thing.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not in the mood for your games today, Sephiroth.” Sephiroth smirked at the irritation that had bled into the man’s tone. The ability to irritate someone was new. Angeal was an endless chasm of patience (he did have to deal with <em> Zack </em> on a daily basis after all). Though he had no problem voicing his disapproval to Sephiroth, he took even the snarkiest remarks in stride. And Sephiroth was usually too busy being irritated <em> by </em>Genesis for the reverse to happen. He had never understood why the man so enjoyed getting on his last nerve, but now -- now Sephiroth kinda got it. </p><p> </p><p>“Why don’t we skip straight to the part where I kill you?”</p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth didn’t even have time to be surprised by the most bored sounding declaration of murder he had ever received. He heard the man move and that was the only warning he got before the sound of steel slashing through the air came precariously close to his throat.</p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth’s arm crossed his body just in time to block a quite frankly <em> ridiculously </em> huge buster sword. It slammed into Masamune with a <em> CLANG </em>that echoed throughout the auditorium. It took all of Sephiroth’s strength not to crumple under the sheer strength of the blow. </p><p> </p><p>He…. He almost hadn’t blocked it. Sephiroth hadn’t even bothered to look at the stranger until now, even when he had brandished a weapon, simply because he didn’t have to. Because Sephiroth was always faster, stronger,<em> better </em>than his opponent. </p><p> </p><p>Because the way the man had cleared the room in the same time it took Sephiroth to unsheathe Masamune should have been impossible. The man was faster than him. Someone was faster than him<em> how is he faster than-- </em></p><p> </p><p>Frazzled was not a term that was normally in Sephiroth’s vocab, but that was the best word he could think of to describe his mental state as he finally got a look at his opponent.</p><p> </p><p>The man was… <em> small. </em> He didn’t quite come up to Sephiroth’s shoulders. His frame may not have been petite for the average person, but in the military, he would have been the runt of any squad. And Sephiroth didn’t like to judge an opponent based on looks but he also understood physics, and how <em> this </em> man was currently holding up under the force of Sephiroth’s block was beyond him. Sephiroth had sent men <em> twice </em> his size flying across the room with less. </p><p> </p><p>And then he saw blue eyes glowing like headlights and he understood. </p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth quirked a brow. “I don’t recognize you, SOLDIER. What class are you?” And he felt strange asking because as the General of SOLDIER, he knew the height requirement, and this man didn’t cut it even for third class.</p><p> </p><p>And yet here he was, eyes glowing with more mako than even Sephiroth himself. </p><p> </p><p>The man’s face twisted in disgust. “<em>Fuck you.</em>” </p><p> </p><p>And Sephiroth thought he couldn’t be any more shocked than he already was, but that was before the man angled his sword and in one quick movement, tossed Sephiroth -- the 1st Class SOLDIER, The Silver General,<em> The Demon of Wutai </em> -- to the floor like it was <em> nothing.  </em></p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth recovered with a roll, but as soon as he was back on his feet, a flurry of attacks had him stumbling backwards. He <em> barely </em> managed to block the onslaught. </p><p> </p><p>Only minutes into the fight and Sephiroth was losing. Badly. The man seemed to be able to predict his every move, his huge buster sword already moving to block Masamune before Sephiroth had even initiated the strike. </p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth wasn’t used to tiring during battle, but he was beginning to feel the effects of exertion as he struggled to keep up with the whirlwind swordsman. The man barely touched the ground as he leapt and twirled in the air, all the while effortlessly parrying Sephiroth’s blows. </p><p> </p><p>It was like he was playing a game of cat and mouse. Whenever Sephiroth tried to get close enough to land a hit, he might as well have been trying to catch light. The man was always just out of reach, his slim size making it particularly easy for him to dart out of range and slip under Sephiroth’s guard. </p><p> </p><p>If Sephiroth thought he might fare better at a closer range, he was proven wrong the second the man launched the offensive. In a flash of movement, he was right in Sephiroth’s face, delivering a ruthless series of blows aimed for the most vital areas. Gone was the nimble grace from before, and in its place were the blunt, jerky motions of a man aiming to kill.</p><p> </p><p>When the man split his sword in two -- <em> how in Gaia’s name did he split his sword?! </em> -- it was all over. Masamune went flying across the room. Sephiroth was shoved to the ground, and he could only watch as the man leapt into the air.</p><p> </p><p>He descended down upon Sephiroth like some kind of terrifying, beautiful avenging angel: twin blades ready to dole out their final judgement, black fabric fluttering behind him like wings. Sephiroth was sure this was the last thing he was ever going to see. </p><p> </p><p>Except the death blow never landed. Instead, the man stopped himself short, landing lightly on his feet inches away. His composed features twisted into one of shock. “What are you doing?” He asked, voice thick with suspicion, as if Sephiroth had deliberately <em> planned </em>on losing. </p><p> </p><p>If he wasn’t so shell-shocked, he might have laughed. Instead, Sephiroth barely had the mental wherewithal to reply with, “What am I doing? Let’s see -- I believe I’m being thoroughly defeated for the first time in my entire lifetime.”</p><p> </p><p>He was rewarded with the cold press of steel to his throat. “You're toying with me. I know you are but… This time is different. What's your game here, Sephiroth?" </p><p> </p><p>Before Sephiroth could even <em> begin </em> to think of a response to the man's strange rambling, a hesitant voice spoke up from the periphery of the room</p><p> </p><p>“Uh… Is this some kind of drill, Sir?”</p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth almost forgot there was an entire room of SOLDIERs watching this go down.</p><p> </p><p>The swordsman must have realized this too because he snorted. It was such a <em> human </em> thing to do, and Sephiroth found himself entranced by the wry twist of the man’s lips. </p><p> </p><p>Then the grin turned to something feral. “They’re here to watch me die, aren’t they? In the place it all started.” He laughed. “You dramatic bastard. Enjoy your <em> poetic death</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth’s brow furrowed. Poetic? That wasn’t something he had ever been accused of before. In fact, Genesis had argued the exact opposite on multiple occasions. And the place where it all started? The place where <em>what</em> started?</p><p> </p><p>If Sephiroth was confused before, then the man started speaking<em> actual </em> gibberish. The language wasn’t one Sephiroth recognized, but the ease in which the man spoke suggested it was his native tongue. It was all harsh syllables and pitches that rapidly fluctuated up and down. It might have been jarring, but his voice softened the harsh sounds into something soothing and rhythmic. The words were obviously practiced and spoken with care -- almost like he was reciting a prayer of some kind.</p><p> </p><p>“... even <em> he </em> can’t avoid it forever. This time, <em>th</em><em>is time for sure.</em>” He transitioned back to Common mid-sentence, but Sephiroth had a feeling he hadn’t meant to. </p><p> </p><p>When the man turned his attention back to Sephiroth, the glazed look in his eye receded and was replaced with something else. Besides shock, it was the first emotion he had seen from the man. It took Sephiroth a few moments to recognize the emotion as it was one he had never felt before. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Desperation.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“The next time we meet, Sephiroth, let it be the dark shores of Náströnd.”</p><p> </p><p>The man raised his sword in the air, and Sephiroth found that he wasn’t afraid at the prospect of death. He was a little surprised this was happening<em> today </em>of all days, but he supposed you couldn’t really plan these things. </p><p> </p><p>Mostly, he was just relieved. Relieved that his life was ending at the hands of a worthy opponent. Relieved that Genesis and Angeal would be okay without him. They would probably miss him at first, but they would recover. They had each other, Angeal had his protege, Genesis had Loveless and -- yes, they would be fine. </p><p> </p><p>As for Shinra, they would find a new face to plaster on all their posters. Hojo would find a new experiment to pick apart. He wasn’t leaving anyone behind that really, truly needed him. </p><p> </p><p>That was all he could ever ask for, in the end.</p><p> </p><p>Before the blow could land and deliver his quick, anticlimactic end, the man’s breath hitched and his sword clattered to the ground. </p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth watched his executioner fall to his knees, clutching his side as he sucked in pained, gasping breaths.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you<em> injured?</em>” Sephiroth asked because <em> surely </em> he couldn’t be. <em> Surely </em> no one in their right mind would try to fight Sephiroth with a handicap like that<em>. </em> Going into battle with Sephiroth was a death sentence on its own. Going into battle with Sephiroth while injured? It was <em> insanity</em>.  </p><p> </p><p>Yet, perhaps not. The man had almost succeeded after all. Was Sephiroth so hopelessly outmatched that this stranger could disarm him in mere minutes <em> with </em> previously sustained injuries? What if he had been in full health? Could he have disarmed him in <em> seconds?  </em></p><p> </p><p>Sheer awe bloomed in his chest and Sephiroth suddenly wondered if this is how people felt when they fought him. </p><p> </p><p>“Doesn’t matter.” The swordsman gasped. “Still gonna… Kill you.” Sehpiroth watched as he tried to stand, only to immediately crumple back down.</p><p> </p><p>“So you’ve mentioned.” Sephiroth picked himself up off the ground, and carefully brushed off his coat. He walked over to where Masamune had fallen and ah -- he felt much better with his sword in his hand. </p><p> </p><p>“About that --” Sephiroth regarded the man, now panting on the ground. “Will I ever get a reason for these impassioned death threats of yours?” </p><p> </p><p>And wow<em> if looks could kill.  </em></p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth just shrugged. “A lot of people want to kill me. I can’t remember what I’ve done to offend them all.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t <em> you dare--” </em> The man blanched and doubled over<em>, </em> hacking up an alarming amount of blood on the auditorium floor. <em> “ </em> Don’t act like you don’t know <em> exactly </em> what you did to ruin my life. Like you didn’t savor. Every. Moment. You. <em> Sick fuck</em>.” </p><p> </p><p>Now that Sephiroth wasn’t distracted by the prospect of his imminent death, he let his eyes roam the man’s form more carefully. He took in the distinctive spikes of his blonde hair, the feminine features, and the almost blinding blue eyes. The man was swathed in a black cloak, secured at the neck with a silver wolf pin. Beneath which he was wearing more dark clothes, including a single pauldron donning the same wolf motif.</p><p> </p><p>Now that Sephiroth was looking for it, he noticed the dark fabric of the man's shirt was wet with blood. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure we’ve met?" Sephiroth finally said  "I have a feeling I would have remembered you.”</p><p> </p><p>That was apparently the wrong thing to say because the man paled considerably, despite already looking like a living corpse.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck you.” Sephiroth found the insult didn’t quite carry a punch when spoken through labored, wheezing breaths. </p><p> </p><p>He approached the man’s slumped form, boots clicking with every step. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re dying.” It wasn’t a question.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Fuck you.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He knelt down. </p><p> </p><p>The man bared his teeth, growling like a cornered animal, but he didn’t make any move to get away. Sephiroth knew it was because he couldn’t. </p><p> </p><p><em> “</em>What about <em> fuck you </em> do you not understand?”</p><p> </p><p>“Will you at least tell me your name?” Sephiroth asked. </p><p> </p><p>“I can say it again if you really want.”</p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth hummed in response, and turned to the audience of SOLDIERS still gaping at the scene.  </p><p> </p><p><em> “</em>He needs medical attention.”</p><p> </p><p>“But-- but, General! He tried to kill you!”</p><p> </p><p>“And?”</p><p> </p><p>The SOLDIER paled at his icy tone. “Sorry, Sir! Right away, Sir!”<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“And use caution, Cadet. He’s weak but you might still need to restrain him.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>What?!” </em>It was the swordsman who spoke, immediately followed by the sound of movement. </p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth didn’t think the man was even capable of staying conscious, so logically it shouldn’t have been possible for him to <em> stand up. </em></p><p> </p><p>“No, no, no, no, no, no, <em> no. </em> You don’t get to just <em> keep me. </em> I’m not your <em> toy</em>.” The blonde reached down to grab his sword, but didn’t quite manage it as he swayed precariously, threatening to topple over any second. </p><p> </p><p>“Would you rather I let you die?” Sephiroth couldn’t believe it. He was offering to help a man that had tried to kill him two seconds ago and he was getting <em>criticized</em> for it. <em><br/></em></p><p> </p><p>The man looked at him with pure exasperation, like the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. <em>“Yes.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth’s eyes narrowed, and he stalked toward the swaying man. The man tried to retreat backwards, but Sephiroth snatched his collar before he could.</p><p> </p><p>He struggled like a bat out of hell, but Sephiroth didn’t loosen his grip. “Need I remind you that <em>you</em> were the one who attacked <em>me</em>. You accuse me of ruining your life, yet you won’t tell me who you are or what I did to warrant this animosity.”</p><p> </p><p>“You promised to kill me, and now I have a promise for you. <em> You will not die until I have these answers.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>The man had stopped struggling, and instead glared up at Sephiroth with a look he hadn’t seen since the Wutaiian war: pure, unbridled <em> hatred. </em></p><p> </p><p>Today was turning out to be a pretty interesting day after all. </p><p> </p><p>“Take him to Hojo.”</p><p> </p><p>~ ~ ~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Resurrection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: Suicide attempt. PTSD.</p><p>The PTSD is pretty much this entire chapter... Thanks for that Hojo XD The suicide attempt is pretty short though. If you want to skip the actual attempt, stop reading at "Fuck I'm so stupid" and skip to "Everyone in the room stood frozen in shock." There will still be aftermath though, so just be aware of that.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a trick. It had to be. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Take him to Hojo. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Cloud shook his head. No. It was impossible. Hojo was<em> dead</em>. This was just Sephiroth playing with his mind, trying to get a rise out of him.</p><p> </p><p>It was Sephiroth’s favorite tactic -- testing the fortitude of Cloud’s mind. And Sephiroth was a craftsman of torture. He’d light the flame, and let Cloud acclimate. Give him just a taste of the pain. Trick him into thinking he could survive it. Then, at just the right moment, he’d snap his fingers and let the flames devour him alive. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud didn’t think Sephiroth could surprise him anymore. They had been fighting for so long, Sephiroth’s sword was practically an extension of his own. The perfect replica of Shinra had startled him, sure, but this--</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Take him to Hojo. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> A trick. That’s all it was.</p><p> </p><p>And yet, even as his mind tried to appeal to reason, he couldn’t stop the fear that clawed at his chest. The hands on his biceps felt as suffocating as metal cuffs. Every corner they turned, Cloud swore he could see Hojo standing there, adjusting his glasses and scribbling on a clipboard. </p><p>. </p><p>Cloud knew he was spiralling. He was supposed to breathe slowly when he got like this. <em>Breathe in and count to three. </em>That’s what Tifa always said to do. <em>Just breathe, Cloud.</em> </p><p> </p><p>He dragged in a shaky breath, and pretended he could hear Tifa counting in his head. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> 1….2...3…  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Good job, Cloud </em> . <em> Now exhale. </em></p><p> </p><p>He did.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Again Cloud. Breathe in. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> 1...2…3… </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Exhale. </em> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Breathe in. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>1...2…</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Now on the count of 3, I’m going to cut into the specimen’s ribcage. Make sure you’re filming it this time, Assistant. I would hate to have to repeat this procedure for a third time. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Cloud’s heart rate <em> skyrocketed </em>. </p><p> </p><p>It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real. </p><p> </p><p>He tried to pull it together, but then he was being shoved into an elevator, and the doors were closing and it was so <em> small</em>. Small enough to crunch his lungs in his chest like a paper bag in an iron fist, and Cloud didn’t want to linger on why the sensation of not being able to breathe was so achingly familiar, but it was. And so were the horrible, desperate, sucking breaths that did more to burn his throat than actually relieve the tightness in his chest, and so was the air that wavered and blurred in electric green. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud was so focused on the very difficult task of<em> trying not to suffocate </em> that he almost missed the ding of the elevator.  </p><p> </p><p>The doors slid open and Cloud froze.</p><p> </p><p>It was slightly different than <em> the </em>lab but the key similarities were there. There were the same pod-like mako tanks in neat rows. The same metal operating table, ruddy with blood stains. The same hum of machinery. The same stench of recirculated air and chemicals. </p><p> </p><p>The same man, if you could even call him that, waiting expectantly next to the operating table.</p><p> </p><p>Hojo looked almost the same as Cloud remembered. The same creased face with that same unimpressed look. The same lab coat and tie. But as Cloud looked closer, he realized that Hojo looked a little different than he remembered. His hair was down, and in the place of his usual spectacles were goggles.</p><p> </p><p>He looked younger.</p><p> </p><p>“Is this the enhanced individual?” That same nasally voice said. </p><p> </p><p>So many years. Years of healing, and therapy, and breathing exercises. Years of Cloud retreating to the back room while Tifa explained to Denzel and Marlene, “You know how you have nightmares sometimes? Well sometimes Cloud has nightmares when he’s awake.” </p><p> </p><p>The first time it happened, Marlene had come to Cloud afterwards, and shoved her teddy bear into his arms.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Marlene… What’s this for?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “For your awake nightmares obviously. You said Mr. Bear can chase away bad dreams” </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> “I--but-- Marlene this is yours!”</em> <em><br/></em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Cloud I’m 11! I don’t need a teddy bear anymore.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “And I do?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Yes.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Denzel was a little more subtle than Marlene. After witnessing one of Cloud’s panic attacks, Cloud often found the boy quietly loitering at his side. </p><p> </p><p>He would try to ask Denzel if he needed anything, but the boy would just quickly shake his head and remain hanging off his pant leg. It was like Denzel suddenly couldn’t bear to be apart from him. When Cloud left the room, Denzel followed. When Cloud went outside, Denzel did too. </p><p> </p><p>One day, after seeing a mother and her babies in a bird’s nest, it hit him. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Denzel… Are you…watching over me?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>This time, a nod.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Thank you.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Cloud taught Marlene and Denzel how to fight. How to survive. </p><p> </p><p>But it was Marlene and Denzel who taught him how to be strong. </p><p> </p><p>It took time, but eventually, Cloud started to heal. Stitch by stitch. Seam by seam, Cloud mended the cracks in his mind. His panic attacks came less and less frequently. The daily nightmares dwindled to maybe once or twice a month.</p><p> </p><p>It got to the point that Cloud started to think maybe, one day, the mako tanks and metal tables and harrowing screams would all just fade into distant memory. </p><p> </p><p>"Tie him down. And assistant -- use the strongest restraints." </p><p> </p><p>And just like that, every carefully stitched wound split wide open.  </p><p> </p><p>Cloud’s mind bled. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Zack was hanging out with some buddies in the cafeteria when a red-faced Kunsel sprinted over to their table. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey man!” Zack raised a hand to wave, but paused when he took in Kunsel’s state. “Woah. You look like hell.” </p><p> </p><p>“Did you hear?” Kunsel panted, leaning over to rest his hands on his knees. </p><p> </p><p>“Hear what?” Zack asked. </p><p> </p><p>“It was insane.” Kunsel straightened. “Apparently there was a guy that barged in on the SOLDIER orientation. He attacked Sephiroth, and get this - he <em>almost</em> <em>won</em>.” </p><p> </p><p>Zack rolled his eyes while the other guys at the table started cracking up. “Yeah right. You better double check your source there, Kuns,” Zack replied. “Some new initiate probably managed to last more than 3 seconds in a spar, and now he’s talk of the town. Come on, you know what the Shinra rumor mill is like.”  </p><p> </p><p>“No, seriously,” Kunsel said. “My source is legit. And he wasn’t a SOLDIER, no one knows who he is. He just came out of nowhere, attacked Sephiroth and disarmed him in no time. They’re saying he would have won if he hadn’t almost passed out. Apparently he was bleeding all over the place and--” </p><p> </p><p>Kunsel was interrupted by the sound of sirens. </p><p> </p><p> “RED ALERT. ALL SOLDIERS REPORT TO LABORATORY SECTION C. I REPEAT RED ALERT. ALL SOLDIERS REPORT TO LABORATORY SECTION C.” </p><p> </p><p>Zack immediately leapt up from the table. With the words “Red alert” and “Laboratory” echoing in his head, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on. </p><p> </p><p>Something dangerous had escaped the labs. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “It tried to escape again, Sir.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Which one?” Hojo asked. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Specimen C. It managed to get out of its cell. We caught it trying to break into Specimen Z’s cell.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “How does my weakest experiment manage to cause the most trouble and yield the least results?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Shall I dispose of it, Sir?” The lab assistant said, speaking about Cloud’s life with clinical impassivity. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Hmm. Not yet. Tie him down. Perhaps if I saw through his femurs, it will be more difficult for him to escape.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Right away, Sir-” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Just a moment. Can it hear me?”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “We had to rough him it a bit, but it's mostly conscious.”   </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Perfect. Now Specimen C. Look at me. If you manage to survive - though it seems unlikely with your weak disposition - I expect perfect behavior. No more escape attempts. No more attacking the guards. No more trying to pick the locks. I see you have an attachment to Specimen Z. Well, you so much as knock over a test tube, and he dies. It’s time you learned your place here, Specimen C.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Specimen C. </p><p> </p><p>That had been his name at one time. Cloud had almost forgotten.</p><p> </p><p>“The Specimen has been secured, Dr. Hojo sir.”</p><p> </p><p>“Excellent.”</p><p> </p><p>The voices sounded warbled and distant. Cloud couldn’t tell if it was because it was a memory, or if it was his consciousness escaping to the back of his mind like it always used to during particularly awful experiments.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t sure of anything anymore.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s lost a lot of blood, Dr. Hojo. He seems to have been stabbed multiple times.” </p><p> </p><p>“He got these from fighting Sephiroth?” Hojo asked. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh well...”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a yes or no question, cadet.”  </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think so, Dr. Hojo sir.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t <em> think so</em>? Weren’t you there?” Hojo asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, but-”</p><p> </p><p>“Did he sustain these injuries fighting Sephiroth or not?”</p><p> </p><p>“I did not see him get injured, Sir.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Hojo scrutinized Cloud more closely, the gaze seeming to burn into his skin. “Did Sephiroth land a hit at all?” </p><p> </p><p>“Not that I saw, Sir.”</p><p> </p><p>Cloud forced himself to stay still, even when rough hands pulled his shirt up. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you blind, cadet? Masamune clearly made these wounds.”<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“I-I didn’t see it happen, Sir.”</p><p> </p><p>“There are three stab wounds here. You’re saying you missed all three occasions in which Sephiroth stabbed him?” Hojo said.</p><p> </p><p>“I-”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh you’re useless.” </p><p> </p><p>“You.” Hojo said, addressing Cloud. “Look at me.” </p><p> </p><p>Cloud immediately obeyed, eyes snapping to meet Hojo’s.</p><p> </p><p>“Did Sephiroth stab you?” Hojo asked.</p><p> </p><p>He could barely think straight, let alone talk. Through sheer will power he managed to get his mouth working. “Y-yes.” </p><p> </p><p>“Who enhanced you?” </p><p> </p><p>Cloud did a double take.  It was a question he had gotten many times. After Shinra was wiped out, SOLDIERS were a rarity. However, the hate for Shinra did not subside in the slightest. Any time someone saw the distinct mako glow in his eyes, they’d usually pull out a weapon and ask him the same thing. Sometimes they propositioned him. After that, Cloud learned to wear sunglasses. </p><p> </p><p> But for Hojo,<em> the very man who’d enhanced him</em>, to ask that? It was a cruel joke. </p><p> </p><p>“Was it Wutai?” Hojo persisted, still playing innocent in this sick game of his. “Whoever enhanced you must know what they’re doing if you were able to take on Sephiroth. How long did you last in the fight? One minute? Two? It couldn’t have been three.”</p><p> </p><p>“I...Uh...” </p><p> </p><p>“You have other scars from Masamune. One over your heart. Another by your hip.” Hojo was practically vibrating with excitement. “You fought Sephiroth before.” </p><p> </p><p>“I-” </p><p> </p><p>“But how is that possible?” Hojo said to himself. “How could you have fought Sephiroth? I would have known. Hmm. Perhaps the entry wounds just look similar to Masamune. That would explain-”</p><p> </p><p>“Who gave you these scars, boy?” Hojo asked, one hand tracing the scar over his heart. Cloud’s whole body shuddered at the contact.  </p><p> </p><p>Hands grabbed at his left arm, and Hojo peered at the scars from his geostigma. When the hand brushed the sensitive nerve at the inner joint of his elbow, Cloud couldn’t help it. He jerked away. </p><p> </p><p>He heard a loud snapping noise. Cloud glanced down and realized he had accidentally broken the metal cuffs securing his left arm to the table. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud stared at his free hand in amazement, and tried to decipher whether or not it was real.</p><p> </p><p>“Guards! Guards! He’s escaping! We need better restraints.”</p><p> </p><p>“But those <em> are </em> the best restraints. They could hold <em> Sephiroth </em>, how did-” </p><p> </p><p>Cloud experimentally pulled at his right hand, and the cuff snapped off as easily as if it was plastic. He did the same to both legs. </p><p> </p><p>He was free. </p><p> </p><p>Cloud no longer cared if this was a dream or not, he couldn’t pass up an opportunity like this.</p><p> </p><p>His vision was still blurred, but he didn’t need to see in order to run in a random direction. He didn’t care where he ended up as long as it was away from here.  </p><p> </p><p>He felt hands grabbing at him, trying to pull him back to the metal table. Every touch had Cloud flinging himself back and forth, twisting and jerking to get away.</p><p> </p><p>Through the thick fog of his mind, he heard voices.</p><p> </p><p>“We need SOLDIERS in here, stat!”</p><p> </p><p>The word “SOLDIER” triggered a knee jerk reaction in Cloud. His heart rate, which was already high, soared until Cloud felt like his heart wasn’t even beating anymore, it was just shivering in his chest. </p><p> </p><p>When Cloud saw a door at the far end of the room, it was like Gaia herself had planted it there. He stumbled towards it on numb legs, flinching at every sound as if it were a guard coming to drag him back down to hell.</p><p> </p><p>When he crossed the threshold, he didn’t even have time to be relieved. </p><p> </p><p>His body collided with something hard. </p><p> </p><p>“No!” Cloud sobbed, banging on the wall that blocked his path to freedom</p><p> </p><p>“Woah, woah, woah! Hey dude, calm down!”</p><p> </p><p>Cloud froze. </p><p> </p><p>He was dreaming. He knew now that this was all a dream. It had to be. </p><p> </p><p>Because Cloud recognized that voice. </p><p> </p><p>“Zack?” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Zack felt the slightest twinge of nerves flutter in his stomach as he made his way to the labs. It was out of character for him to be nervous. As a second class, he was well used to dealing with monsters at this point. There was even talk of promoting him to first after his most recent scouting mission out in the Wastelands where he’d taken out a high level cerulean drake. </p><p> </p><p>But there was something about the labs that gave him a weird vibe. Whenever he had to go down there for checkups with Hojo, the eerie sounds made his skin crawl. </p><p> </p><p>He turned to Kunsel, who was panting to match Zack’s brisk pace.</p><p> </p><p> “What do you think got out?” Zack asked.</p><p> </p><p>Kunsel released a heavy breath. “It’s the same guy. I know it. They mentioned they were taking him to the labs.” </p><p> </p><p>“The labs? Why?” If what Kunsel said was true, Zack assumed they would take him to the medbay or possibly some kind of special Turk prison. </p><p> </p><p>“He’s enhanced, Zack. I bet they took him to Hojo.” </p><p> </p><p>Zack did a double take, but Kunsel’s helmet hid his expression.</p><p> </p><p> “Wait, but I thought you said he wasn’t in SOLDIER?” Zack said.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s not,” Kunsel replied. </p><p> </p><p>“Then how could he be enhanced?”<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Zack was cut off by the sound of shouting up ahead, followed by heavy footsteps. </p><p> </p><p>He looked up just in time to see a flash of yellow hurtle out of a doorway and slam right into him. </p><p> </p><p>The impact from the collision knocked the air from his lungs, and he had to take a step backwards to catch his balance. “Woah, what the-”</p><p> </p><p>Zack looked down, half-expecting to see one of his fellow SOLDIERS. He hadn’t been staggered like that since Luxiere had tackle-hugged him after he got back from a mission. </p><p> </p><p>Zack was shocked to look down and see a slender blonde man.</p><p> </p><p>Even if he hadn’t barrelled into Zack at breakneck speed, this was someone who immediately stood out to Zack as an outsider. Shinra employees were a very particular breed. You had the burly, swaggery SOLDIERS. The stone-faced, lanky scientists. The Turks, who were their own category. And Sephiroth, who was also his own category. </p><p> </p><p>This guy didn’t fit anywhere in the Shinra status quo. Zack suddenly had the mental image of a fawn standing in a sea of mountain lions. Zack had seen his type before. Doe-eyed kids immigrating to Midgar with big dreams of becoming a SOLDIER. People knew the acceptance rate into SOLDIER was almost nonexistent, but they still tried anyway. Everyone thought they were the exception. They could do it if they just worked hard enough, if they just wanted it enough. But reality was a bitter pill. Every year, one or two people were offered SOLDIER positions and thousands of other applicants were turned away. </p><p> </p><p>From the looks of it, this guy wasn’t even a contender. Zack hoped he was here for a tour, and not for the SOLDIER exam. </p><p> </p><p>Before Zack could say anything, he watched the blonde crumple in on himself. “No,” he whispered, his breath hitching on a sob. </p><p> </p><p>“NO!” Zack didn’t have any warning before the man shoved him, almost throwing him clear off his feet. Zack staggered back, and audibly gasped at the display of strength. </p><p> </p><p>Not just anyone could push a SOLDIER like that. </p><p> </p><p>Before the blonde could dart around him, he caught both of his wrists. </p><p> </p><p>“Woah, woah, woah! Hey, dude calm down!”</p><p> </p><p>Zack wasn’t actually expecting that to work, but the second the words left his mouth, the man froze. </p><p> </p><p>Slowly, he tilted his head up to look at Zack, and Zack finally got a good look at his face. </p><p> </p><p>The sight stole his breath away. The man was easily the most handsome person he had ever seen. He had gently slanted cheekbones, a small mouth, and slight chin giving him an almost feminine appearance. But combined with a strong jaw, and well defined muscles of his biceps, it created an androgynous kind of beauty that had Zack unable to look away. </p><p> </p><p>But his most striking feature by far were his eyes: electric blue flecked with mako green. They were opened wide and, to Zack’s surprise, glistening with tears.  </p><p> </p><p>“Zack?” The man whispered. He looked Zack up and down, drinking him in like he was a pool of fresh water in the middle of a desert. </p><p> </p><p>Zack blinked. “Uh, have we met?”</p><p> </p><p>Before the blonde could respond, a group of men and women in lab coats came rushing through a doorway. </p><p> </p><p>“SOLDIER, restrain him!” Hojo yelled. </p><p> </p><p>It was only then that Zack got it.</p><p> </p><p>This was the enhanced man who had escaped the labs. </p><p> </p><p>Zack’s SOLDIER instincts immediately kicked in. He spun the man around, and tugged his arms behind his back in a proper military pin. Even if he didn’t look like much of a threat, Zack knew first-hand what mako enhancement could do. He also knew what the science department was capable of, and if <em> they </em> were freaking out over this guy… Hopefully he wasn’t some kind of rabid flesh-eating monster in disguise.</p><p> </p><p>Or<em> mind reader. </em>Holy shit is that how he knew Zack’s name?</p><p> </p><p>Zack held his breath, waiting for the man to try and break out of the pin, but to his surprise, the man didn’t struggle at all. In fact, he seemed to<em> lean into the hold</em>, the blonde tuft of the man’s head coming to rest just under Zack’s chin. For a rabid, flesh-eating mind reader, his hair was surprisingly soft. </p><p> </p><p>“Zack. You have to kill me.”</p><p> </p><p>Zack's eyes widened. “Wait <em>what!?” </em></p><p> </p><p>The man laughed, but Zack didn’t like how much it sounded like a sob. </p><p> </p><p>“I was never cut out for this, Zack. I knew that, I’ve always known that, but I guess Gaia finally figured it out.”</p><p> </p><p>The man turned his head to look at Zack, and he already knew the man was beautiful, but then he <em> smiled</em>, and Zack didn’t know a smile could be so intimate and adoring and warm all at the same time. </p><p> </p><p>“You’ll do a better job than I ever could.” </p><p> </p><p>The man spoke with so much conviction, and Zack’s heart couldn’t help but flutter because it was like the man <em> saw him</em>. It was like he saw Zack’s very core, and instead of seeing all the vulnerability and weakness, he chose to see only value and strength. </p><p> </p><p>A thought popped into his mind, and he suspiciously eyed Kunzel, then Hojo and the rest of scientists, expecting someone to drop the ball that this was all some kind of elaborate prank. </p><p> </p><p>They didn’t.</p><p> </p><p>Zack gulped. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’m not going to kill you if I don’t have to.”</p><p> </p><p>The man nodded, expression infinitely fond. “I know.” </p><p> </p><p>Then Zack watched in amazement as the man all but shrugged out of his pin.<em> Effortlessly</em>. Like Zack was some kind of child and not a highly trained 2nd class SOLDIER. </p><p> </p><p>“You know that pin never worked on me, Zack.”</p><p> </p><p>The man raised his hand, but he didn’t deliver the punch Zack was expecting.</p><p> </p><p>Instead he cradled Zack’s jaw, and kissed him. </p><p> </p><p>Zack’s mind slammed to a halt as the man’s lips pressed against his. Suddenly nothing else mattered but returning the most tender kiss he had ever received and Zack’s eyes fluttered shut. </p><p> </p><p>When Zack’s lips parted for him, he felt the man sigh and melt against him, fitting into the hollow of Zack’s body so perfectly there could be no doubt that he belonged there. The hand not cupping his jaw grazed his chest, his waist, his hip.</p><p> </p><p>Then the man was being pulled off of him, and Zack felt the loss viscerally. The man must have too because his breath hitched like they had cut off his supply of oxygen instead of a kiss with a complete stranger. </p><p> </p><p>As the SOLDIERS pulled the man away, Zack noticed something green glint in his hand. </p><p> </p><p>Zack’s hand shot down to his materia holster, and his eyes widened. </p><p> </p><p>One of them was missing<em>.  </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Fuck I’m so stupid!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The poison materia lit up as the man cast, bathing him in a green halo of light brighter than any materia Zack had ever seen. The light created an ethereal shine around him, turning him into something that could have stepped straight out of the lifestream. </p><p> </p><p>When the SOLDIERS realized what was happening, they immediately dropped the man and fumbled to cast barrier. Somehow Zack knew, in his gut, that it was unnecessary. He knew what was happening, even before the man’s eyes rolled back into his head. </p><p> </p><p>The poison spell took effect, and the man collapsed to the floor with a sickening thud. As the materia rolled out of his hand, the orb of light flickered and then fizzled out, returning the materia to a dull green.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone in the room stood frozen in shock. </p><p> </p><p>That is, until a severe voice broke the silence.</p><p> </p><p>“You gave him a materia?” Zack’s head whipped around to see Sephiroth stride into the room.</p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth scoffed. “I should have known not to trust the science department with this.”</p><p> </p><p>Everyone watched as Sephiroth knelt down besides the man and gingerly lifted him into his lap. Zack had never seen Sephiroth cradle anyone before in his life, but that’s the only way he could describe the way Sephiroth held the man's body flush to his own, cupping his head with one hand. </p><p> </p><p>Placing his other hand gently over the men’s chest, Sephiroth closed his eyes. The man’s body lit up with a sky blue light, followed immediately by a pale pink. </p><p> </p><p>Color returned to the man’s pale face. His chest that had been morbidly still, started to rise and fall again. His eyes, however, remained closed. Zack realized Sephiroth must have cast both cure and a sleep spell. </p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth stood up, lifting the man into a bridal carry. Then, addressing the room in a voice that was utterly too calm, he said, “Whose materia is that?” Zack suddenly remembered the poison materia still sitting on the floor. </p><p> </p><p>Everyone seemed to sense the danger in the General's tone, and remained silent. </p><p> </p><p>It took Zack a moment to get his mouth to work. Even then, the words seemed to stick in his throat.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s mine, Sir,” he said.  </p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth’s eyes narrowed. “And how <em> exactly </em> did he get access to your materia?”</p><p> </p><p>“I-” Zack took a steeling breath. “He seems to know who I am, Sir. And he… Well...”</p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth raised a brow. “Yes?”</p><p> </p><p>“He uh… Kissed me, Sir. I guess he stole the materia while I was erm… Distracted.”</p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth’s brows shot to his hairline.</p><p> </p><p>“He kissed you?”<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>“Uh. Yes, Sir.”</p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth snorted. <em> The </em> Sephiroth actually <em> snorted</em>. </p><p> </p><p>“Why am I even surprised anymore?” He muttered under his breath. He turned back to Zack. “Did he tell you anything?”</p><p> </p><p>“No! No, I honestly have no idea who he is or what’s going on,” Zack said.  </p><p> </p><p>“He didn’t even tell you his name?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, Sir.” </p><p> </p><p>Sephiroth sighed. “Enigma follows this man wherever he goes, and I must say it’s starting to try my patience. I do believe it’s high time our questions are met with some answers.”</p><p> </p><p>The cold edge in Sephiroth's voice sent a pang of fear through Zack. “What are you going to do?”</p><p> </p><p>“What I always do with enemy agents,” Sephiroth replied smoothly. </p><p> </p><p>“I'm going to interrogate him.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Are we good? Did we all survive? I personally apologize for the Hojo drama. My dramatic ass had to include some of it, but Hojo will not be the focus of the this story. </p><p>I can't take credit for the Sephiroth cure/sleep scene at the end. Thanks for that one, Hawkbringer. It was such a good idea I had to add it in somewhere. </p><p>And thank you to everyone else who also left exceptionally kind words and kudos. It sounds like some of you have high hopes for this story, and I hope to meet your expectations.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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